What we need to talk about, what someone needs to talk about, particularly now, is our ever-deepening ignorance (of politics, of foreign languages, of history, of science, of current affairs, of pretty much everything) and not just our ignorance but our complacency in the face of it, our growing fondness for it. A generation ago the proof of our foolishness, held up to our faces, might still have elicited some redeeming twinge of shame—no longer. Today, across vast swaths of the republic, it amuses and comforts us. We're deeply loyal to it. Ignorance gives us a sense of community; it confers citizenship; our representatives either share it or bow down to it or risk our wrath.

Seen from a sufficient distance (a decade abroad, for example), or viewed through a protective filter, like film, or alcohol, there can be something almost endearing about it. It can appear quaint, part of our foolish-butauthentic, naive-yet-sincere, roughhewn spirit. Up close and personal, unromanticized and unfiltered, it's another thing entirely. In the flesh, barking from the electronic pulpit or braying back from the audience, our ignorance can be sobering. We don't know. Or much care. Or care to know. What do we care about? We care about auto racing and Jessica. We care about food, oh yes, please, very much. And money. (Did you catch the last episode of I Love Money?) We care about Jesus, though we're a bit vague on his teachings. And America. We care about America. And the flag. And the troops, though we're untroubled by the fact that the Bush Administration lied us into the conflict, then spent years figuring out that armor in war might be bookstores to lay our money down.

Wherever it may have resided before, the brain in America has migrated to the region of the belt—not below it, which might at least be diverting, but only as far as the gut—where it has come to a stop. The gut tells us things. It tells us what's right and what's wrong, who to hate and what to believe and who to vote for. Increasingly, it's where American politics is done. All we have to do is listen to it and the answer appears in the little window of the eight ball: "Don't trust him. Don't know. Undecided. Just because, that's why." We know because we feel, as if truth were a matter of personal taste, or something to be divined in the human heart, like love. I was raised to be ashamed of my ignorance, and to try to do something about it if at all possible. I carry that burden to this day, and have successfully passed it on to my children. I don't believe I have the right to an opinion about something I know nothing about—constitutional law, for example, or sailing — a notion that puts me sadly out of step with a growing majority of my countrymen, many of whom may be unable to tell you anything at all about Islam, say, or socialism, or climate change, except that they hate it, are against it, don't believe in it. Worse still (or more amusing, depending on the day) are those who can tell you, and then offer up a stew of New Age blather, right-wing rant, and bloggers' speculation that's so divorced from actual, demonstrable fact, that's so not true, as the kids would say, that the mind goes numb with wonder. "Way I see it is," a man in the Tulsa Motel 6 swimming pool told me last summer, "if English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it's good enough for us."

Labels: idiots, money, people, police

Labels: money

• Finish organizing my photo collection (~17,000 photos). Get at least 1/4 of the way through tagging, rating, and eliminating duplicates.
• Get a real start on organizing my old design/writing work files.
• Create a good organizational system for ITP work files.
• Rate 40 days worth of music.
• Average one blog post every 3 days.
• Stay on-budget every month.
• Make some babies~!
• Use my 'power tower' (ugh hate the name) Christmas gift. I have yet to determine actual numbered goals. Get more sexy! This involves about 45 minutes of workout per day in 10, 10, and 25 minute sections.
• Eat well (almost no corn syrum, limited sweets, good snacks like carrots and nuts, more but smaller meals, drinking 2.5 litres of water a day).
• Take 4,000 photographs, including 400 5-star photos. Post the best to Facebook/Flickr.
• Consistently shoot 80% on freethrows.

• Create a home inventory for insurance purposes, including all photos, reciepts and serial numbers.
• Finish Ignition. This means professionally mastered and with a new website to promote it.
• Start re-learning piano and/or theory (haven't set up specific goals for this yet).
• Go on at least 25 hikes or other outdoor excursions.
• Consistently (at least 2x a month) do little things for my wife that would make her want to date me if we weren't married.
• Stay connected to friends via Facebook. Use it to get together with friends while we're still young and sexy.
• Get a good, highly-productive routine going at work that encourages me to take carpal-tunnel saving breaks and keeps me alert through the day (this relates to the eating and exercising).

• Begin to learn PHP in depth, preferably through classes that work pays for...
• Set up a long series of doctor's appointments to check for just about everything one can be checked for, to deal with any problems I might have before they're problems. That is - abuse the fact that I have a job with semi-decent medical care.
• Work on some way of respectfully resolving some core differences of belief between me and the in-laws.
• Get out of town 8 times (including at least 5 to family).
• Read a book a month.
• Reaquaint myself with all the outdoors knowledge I had as a Boy Scout.
• Learn to properly tune up my car.

• Pay taxes by Valentine's Day.
• Visit my co-workers in San Francisco (I work from home 700 miles away and have yet to meet them).
• Use our new toboggan.

• For the Prius: Replace scratched rear turn signal assembly.
• Redo my homepage/portfolio again in such a way that it all actually works.
• Create "A Ninja Wedding"
• Create the Impulse Nine TF2 frag video
  

• Get to a water park.
• Write a short (20-page) religous-political treatise.

• January: Scrape off all the tar board from the floors and put down rust-preventing primer. Install aluminum side panels.
• February: Install floor drains. Put down floor lining. Install side brush bars. Install larger brake fluid reservoir.
• March: Create map pocket and cup holder in side panels. Install fire extinguisher holder.
• April: Install Dynamat (weather permitting).
• May: Buffer time.
• June: Begin working with simple fiberglassing by making rear trunk covers.
• July: Replace all the wiring with Jordan, adding circuits for all the new stuff to be installed later. Add gravel guards. Replace turn signal. Install air horn.
• August: Powdercoat rims, bumpers, brush bars, gravel guards, and door panels.
• September: Buffer time.
• October: Replace rims and tires. Raise rear suspension.
• November: Install new headlight system.
• December: Replace door and window rubber.

Labels: basketball, doctor, exercise, food, hiking, holidays, Internet, Leelu, money, mp3, music, organization, photography, Rachel, resolutions, team fortress 2, To-Do, work, Yoshimi

Labels: ambition, capitalism, military, money, police, stuff

Labels: Christmas, computers, madness, money, Rachel

Mr. Simpson, that does not even make sense. You think a secret radical Muslim would marry an atheist? Even if it was purely to piss off Christians? Sleeper agent jihadists are not known for their tolerance of Enlightenment principles!

Seriously, West Virginia, we are going to give you back to Virginia unless you can demonstrate that you can handle statehood again. And no one wants that.

Labels: idiots, money, Obama, politics, race

• Gigantic block o' cheddar
• Smaller block of swiss
• Parmesan cheese
  
• Port wine cheese and crackers
• Potato or wheat bread
• Chive cream cheese
  
• Plain cream cheese
  
• Pita bread
  

• Red onion (stays about a month!)
• Alfalfa sprouts (50¢ per package and lasts a while)
• Lettuce (organic in-the-box stuff lasts best for me)
• Applesauce side (OK, my fruit & veggie intake is lacking)
  

• Caesar dressing
• Sun-dried tomato paste
• Sun-dried tomato pesto paste
• Homemade hummus
• Pesto

• Whatever you want, really, but try for the better stuff in the supermarket deli. Don't buy much, but mediocre meat brings down the sandwich. It's still worlds cheaper than eating out, anyway.
  

Labels: food, health care, Maloney's, money, recipie, white people

Labels: money, people, random

Labels: food, government, history, money, Obama, taxes

"Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like."

Labels: money, quote

Labels: holidays, life, money, photography, sex, shopping, Tokyo

The night before you do this, stand in front of a mirror. Offer an absolutely astronomical sum, and grin like an idiot. Then, slowly lower the price. Repeat this process until you can keep a straight face. That's the amount you want.

Labels: design, jobs, money, people, psychology

Labels: fashion, money, random, underwear

1. Re-wire the truck's entire electrical system with my awesome in-laws up in Prescott. Escape the heat, work online there, help them build their house, and get the truck to never-imagined levels of awesome.
   
2. Look up a new house to live in that has a yard, laundry machine, a place to work on the fiberglass dash I need to put into Rachel's truck, isn' insanely expensive, and is close enough to Bookman's that Rachel can walk. The discount we get for not driving to work (either of us) is nice.
3. Rent the place two weeks into August, and take those two weeks to move. Catalogue every last item. We'll be listing every item we own, and decide if we need it. If not, it's donated or sold. Keep the list for our house insurance, and update it as life goes on.
4. Rachel takes her last class for her Bachelor's Degrees in Creative Writing and English Literature (fall semester). She drives her amazingly well-running truck.
5. In January, I either get promoted to full-time at ITP, or keep working part time and begin finishing my teaching certificate. Either way, Rachel starts her graduate program classes in Library Science.
6. After that, things get a bit fuzzy, but for now:
   If we can afford it, sometime in Fall '08 or Spring '09, buy an RV, give the truck back to the in-laws for a while, tow the Bug and live on the road for about 3 months. Make a time-lapse video of the entire thing. Explore the entire United States, and decide on a place to settle down for the next few years. In all likelihood it will be in Arizona, but why not find out for sure? Living without regrets is a part of freedom.
   
7. Reproduce on the road! Our kids will not know exactly where they were conceived, and I think that's vaguely awesome.
8. Have kids. Name the girls Méria Jael and Artemis Ella; name the boys Aaron Isaac and Michael David.
   
9. Buy a house.
10. Live well.

Labels: ambition, college, gas, house, kids, money, Rachel, rant, RV, To-Do, work

Labels: cars, chores, credit, friends, homepage, money, music, To-Do

But the circumstances surrounding this rebirth warrant bloggage.

I had a program called Stellar Phoenix recovery software. Very nice stuff, didn't have the full version. Sean had tried to recover a hard drive of his by bringing it to Best Buy and giving them a bundle of cash. They got about half of it. He and I decided to go in and buy the program ($130). Worked great - we fixed my drives, and he got his working again to an extent Best Buy didn't touch.

Okay, fine, but why the blog entry? Because I hate messing with computers at this point. I can - I know how to - I've just been the go-to guy among my friends for years on this kind of stuff and it's a 'plumber's pipes are leaky' situation - when I'm done fixing others' computers, I don't wanna do mine.

In this case, I handed it to Sean - - and he learned what he needed to do and did it. I feel vaguely parental pride, and some serious relief I didn't have to do it. I have therefore bequeathed the majority of my computer junk to him - a half dozen hard drives, another half dozen CD drives, cases, etc., etc., that I didn't want to toss ('cos they really were useful for testing) but Rachel wanted gone and I didn't really like having ... especially cluttering up one of our rooms.

And yet all of this doesn't really justify a blog entry. What I'm most happy about is that Sean is finally getting into this stuff - taking the networking classes that pretty much gaurantee a $40k per year job, and generally getting his life together. And it's good seeing that happen to a friend.

A random thing - it's a good thing that I don't live near AZ and Tasha anymore, or I'd always be playing the Sims 2... as it is it can only be a one-hour fix every week or so, which is on the whole a good thing.

Currently playing : The Sims 2

Labels: computers, friends, games, money, Sean

The last post was put up around midnight on Tuesday, January 31st. The previous day, Monday, started out looking pretty bleak. I had 2 days left in the month, lots of bills and basically no money.

A few weeks previous, I had become a member of the Maloney's Rejects. The week before that, Rachel and I had both been sick with a fever for a week (being absent for a week contributed strongly to the Reject thing, to top it off). So we had missed something like 2/3rds of our income for the month, and didn't even have the nice buffer we expected out of what turned out to be a placid New Year's Night at Maloney's. I will unleash the bile I have stored up about that at another time.

I got so desperate to find employment, I was going to be a DJ at TD's (a strip club). I applied for Unemployment and Food Stamps.

But let's back up even more. A few days before even this, I found myself tutoring a grade-school kid about the physical properties of light (and Bernoulli's Principle also and how it powers flight). I decided I ought to look for a job tutoring at a Charter school (which doesn't require a teaching degree)... and promptly did not do that at all. At least not until the Monday that started our story.

That Monday, I started calling all of the Charter schools in Tucson, in alphabetical order, and trying to find a job tutoring. One did decide to give me an interview the next day - BASIS [sic.] Tucson.

So I showed up at BASIS Tucson, and was shooed in to talk to Olga Block, the director. Olga was from Eastern Europe, shrewd, and to the point. We talked about what educational experience I had - lots of individual tutoring in Okinawa, basically - and talked for about 20 minutes. She then told me that she didn't need me in Tucson, or for that matter to teach any of the subjects I had listed. She wanted me up in Scottsdale to teach kids there Art. She wanted me there as soon as possible, and sent me to check out the Art class in that school.

During the meeting, I got a phone call from the Unemployment Office, who wanted to interview me to verify eligibility. Obviously, I never answered.

I arranged to borrow AZ and Tasha's car (Rachel's being needed to get her to work and mine was still in the shop) and stay with my Grandfather-In-Law, Howard. He and his wife are ridicuously kind people - they are the same ones that put together that truck of Rachel's and gave it to us.

I was to check out BASIS on Thursday, and do a demo lesson on Friday. This of course is an insanely tiny amount of time to put together a lesson, but I did it. Turns out, though, that the regular teachers were the ones teaching the Art classes.

Why?

Well ... the short version goes something like this. Back in August, Mrs. Bae was a fine Art teacher who got pregnant and took her maternity leave. She had a few subs while she was gone, naturally. Then in October she came back ... and left just two weeks later when her husband was promoted and moved to L.A.. Then they got another teacher or two. The most recent one tripped on a backpack and smashed her head into a chair, suffering severe head trauma and bleeding all over the place to the horror of her class. Naturally, she wasn't going to teach for awhile and in the meantime the other teachers had taken turns on their breaks substituting.

Howard and Anita (the grandparents in law) live in Peoria, and with rush-hour traffic I needed a full hour and a half and almost fifty miles of driving to get to work. This is not fun.

I arrived on time on Thursday, though, and when I got there, there really wasn't an Art class to observe (what with the teachers not doing Art) - so I started teaching. I had to improvise 4 Art lessons with kids I'd never met in a situation I'd never been in. It was stressful but fun in a mad way and I made it through Thursday pretty well. That night, I had the "let's talk about God and politics" conversation with Howard and despite my comparatively wishy-washy stances on Christianity (I am Catholic, but not anywhere nearly as religious as he is as a Protestant), it went perfectly well.

On Friday, I improvised several lessons and ... totally had the worst time with the one I had actually planned. Rather ironic, really, that the bosses (being Olga and the Director) saw my worst lesson.

But they hired me anyway. Almost on a lark, and because so many had just ejected due to burnout. I think they could tell that I was ridiculously enthusiastic and not so subject to just bailing out on them.

That night I drove down to Tucson quite elated, and came back up to Prescott to buy AZ & Tasha's new car (a '63 VW), and say hello to the in-laws who live there. The next Tuesday was my first day back, though I had to drive Rachel's truck all the time. Since then, I've been staying with my Mom who lives in a much more central location in Phoenix and my transit time went from and hour and a half to about 30 minutes.

And of course now I have more things to talk about: the school, the kids, and so on but that will undoubtedly take up the next several entries...

Currently reading : The Enchanted Forest Chronicles: Dealing with Dragons / Searching for Dragons / Calling on Dragons / Talking to Dragons By Patricia C. Wrede

Labels: art, BASIS, debt, DJ, in-laws, Maloney's, money, school, Scottsdale, teaching

Labels: BASIS, jobs, money, school

5. Starts writing songs that start with "woke up this mornin'..."
4. Still doesn't drink ... but understands why people do.
3. Still doesn't smoke ... but understands why people do.
2. New favorite song: Mercedes Benz by Janis Joplin
1. "I wonder if Circle K will hire me back"

(Note that #1 hasn't happened yet. Yet.)

Currently listening : Pearl By Janis Joplin

Labels: alcohol, blues, jobs, money, smoking

Per month.
$250 Groceries
$180 Dining Out
$330 For the truck and VW
$1200 Mortgage (30-yr)
$300 House decor/repair
$250 IRA
$350 Savings*
$400 Utilities, bills
$300 Spending*
$1000 Children
$0 Debt payments

$4,560 per month
$54,720 per year.

*~1/3rd used on monthly trip, 1/3 used on annual trip.

This is more than enough for me. We'd have trips monthly to a rollercoaster or off-roading or whatever, and annually could afford a trip just about anywhere. And have a big, fat IRA account when we retire. Of course, sometimes I'd use some of the car budget for the house repair (or whatever) - or maybe go out more one month than usual and pare from the grocery budget. But this really would be all I needed, I'm sure of it. I mean ... after 2 years of this income, I'd be able to do pretty much everything I'd wanted to do to my car, and make some improvements to Rachel's truck as well. After 5 years, I'd definately finish, and we'd probably get our third (and final) car - something like a '55 Nomad to drive the kids around with.

And this all makes me really wonder about the middle class and how I always hear about them trying to live above their means. From where I am, their means are plenty. Why are they killing themselves with debt?

Anyway, this is all wishful thinking at the moment since I'm unemployed. But there is a light at the end of this tunnel. I know that very few graphic designers just start out making $50k a year, but that doesn't bother me. That's fine. Rachel is making about $10k from Bookman's, and we don't have kids. We live in a duplex and so don't need the $300 for home repairs, really, or a mortgage (rent is half what's budgeted there). Actually that whole list is a bit inflated just because this is a fantasy world, and the title of this blog is "everything I ever wanted." Between the all that, we're taking $30k out of the above budget per year - leaving me to get an entry-level job at $20k per year. If I can find one.

Am I really asking for something unreasonable? A $20k per year job for a college grad, with hopes of eventually making about $40-55 in about a decade? Or is a college degree worth that little now?

Edit: heh. Even though it's best if you're listening instead of reading. I'll be singing it on the way to DES.

Currently reading : The Chronicles of Chrestomanci, Volume 2: The Magicians of Caprona / Witch Week By Diana Wynne Jones

Labels: cars, debt, idiots, jobs, money, rant, To-Do, truck, true

I told her that, in light of the fact that I'd quit/fired, it was unlikely for a little while. She said she was sorry and that I should apply at the bank. She didn't know how bad at math I am - finance in particular - so I can't blame her. But I wanted to impress upon her exactly how bad an idea this was.

I looked at her with a thoughtful face and, gesturing at her booth, said, "I'm sure that if I did that, I would find a way to collapse the Western World's economy."

She just looked at me, amused and a bit scared.

I perked up - "Have a nice day, though!" - turned, and left.

Labels: Maloney's, money, stories, true

Today, Rachel got an offer for a credit card. Fine, that happens daily. But I'm pretty sure this was the single worst offer I'd ever seen.

APR (Annual Percentage Rate): 23.99 r> Startup Fee: $50
Monthly (!) Fee: $10.95 ($131.40/yr)
Minimum Finance Charge: $0.50

So, let's say Rachel actually got this and bought one $0.50 popscicle every month for a year with it.

Startup Monthly fees = $181.40
Finance charges = $.50 x 12 = $6
Interest = ~$35

For twelve fifty-cent popscicles ($6 in merchandise), she'd pay about $222. Now, if you could excuse me, I'm going to go and visit the executives at Applied Card Bank, Wilmington DE. With a blunt object.

Currently listening : Cowboy Bebop By Yoko Kanno

Labels: credit, evil, money

First, I've been spending a lot of time at work. 10 hours today, for example. This has been for a variety of reasons. First, I've been doing graphic designs for Maloney's. They are very difficult to work with, because of short notices, long feedback lead time, and other demands. Second, I've been transferring music archives and making new daytime music lists. I'm also training new DJs because I'm hoping to become a barback, because I desperately need the money.

Second, money as mentioned - my current budget has me making $10 less than I need per day, every day.

Third, I've spent a lot of time up in Phoenix with my grandparent-in-law trying to get Rachel's truck working. This is so that I don't have to come home at 3am, only to take her to work 4 hours later, and then our friend AZ a few hours after that, and then take Rachel home again. It's between 1 and 3 hours of driving every day, and that is insane. Especially the amount of gas we use doing it. Despite her having a vehicle with much worse gas mileage (17 compared to 25 mpg), it's only one trip. Not to mention the gratification of independence. Even with the extra insurance every month we'll still save money on gas.

Also a few random life events; Our friend Jessy had her second baby. I've been trying to get serious about my 4th album. I've been updating my resume and sending out for a 'real' full time graphic design job.

In so many words: I've been fucking busy.

Labels: cars, gas, money, work

I GOT A BIG TV NOW COS I RULE RAWR!

Actually Rachel got it from work on our trade credit so we got a 27" TV in exchange for a bunch of crap we didn't want anyway and that rules so once again RAWR I/WE RULE.

Especially because this is in the middle of a massive financial crisis. I love the idea/irony of getting the biggest TV of my life a few hours after telling a credit agency to go #%*!! themselves because I (honest to God) didn't have the money.

Currently listening : In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3 By Coheed & Cambria

Labels: credit, money, TV

I want to say first that, cynical as I've become, you've always surprised me with your candid, sensible approach to governing. I understand your decisions - even when I dont agree with them. You have a supporter if youd like to become President.

I have three things I'd like to point out to you: taxes, energy, and Jon Stewart.

I believe IRS Commissioner Mark W. Everson has done well and deserves the money to continue properly taxing. In particular, I would love to see the evasion of taxes involving mutual funds, off-shore accounts, etc, come to an end. People like me, who can't afford anything we havent fought bitterly for, feel cheated when shown things like this:

"On March 30, 2004, Congress was told that 78 percent of known tax cheats in investment partnerships are not even asked to pay because there are not enough tax collectors to go after them. While letting rich tax cheats run wild, Congress did finance a crackdown on the poor. The working poor, most of whom make less than $16,000, are eight times more likely to be audited than millionaire investors in partnerships." (source)

Let him do his job well, and the deficit will be cleared just that much faster.

Energy. I have never been so sad and yet grinned so wide when I read your statements (1, 2)about the Energy Bill. In all seriousness - THANK YOU for recognizing it for what it is. More importantly, thank you for recognizing that what weve done so far is inadequate, in particular with fuels and ethanol (gasohol). Most of the current solutions involve one of two things: New forms of transportation (electric, hybrids) or radically modifying our current cars (bio-diesel). I applaud your work with Senator Lieberman on encouraging new technologies. However, while new technologies should be employed in new vehicles, consider the ratio of new vehicles to old. It will be a long time before the new-technology vehicles are enough in number compared to old-technology for them to do significant good.

What we need is something that will run relatively clean on current and older cars. Weve spent $200 Billion on Iraq why dont we give $20 Billion to scientists from DuPont, Harvard, and the military and say make a substance that burns at a spark smoothly at 92 octane, does not freeze above -20 degrees F, nor evaporate below 140, and runs my 62 VW as well as a new Corvette, at a total cost of less than $1 per gallon to the consumer. I just refuse to believe that its impossible.

Energy independence is something that is well worth the cost of research. Imagine if tomorrow, we sent a diplomat to all of the nations in the squabbling Middle East and say, "we dont need your oil and were selling our new substitute to Europe for a buck a gallon." Instant reform. They would have to their whole economies are based on oil. Thats how they can have ridiculous poverty and no women working.

I understand that this is armchair politics, easy from where I am sitting and much more difficult to actually do. Please, help take the momentum of the unanimous public assertion that the Energy bill was terrible and help propose putting money where America can use it best - a product we can sell to improve our economy that also severs our umbilical cord to the Middle East.

Finally, look for the clip from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart in which your conversation with General Richard Myers. You received resounding applause.

[signed]

Currently listening : Rattle and Hum By U2

Labels: environment, gas, government, irs, money, oil, politics, rant