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| Saturday, September 30, 2006 |
| I made a joke today no. 4: Naked people |
A guy walks into a store, completely naked.
At the counter, a little old lady looks up, sees him, and opens her eyes and mouth in suprise. She can't quite get to saying anything out of indignation, though.
The guy looks his own naked self, and says, "Oh! Oh, man! Please tell me this is a dream - this always happens in bad dreams."
The little old lady slowly shakes her head, "no," not shutting her eyes or mouth.
The man turns a deep shade of red and starts backing up out of the store.
"I can't believe I forgot my wallet."
Incredibly, the old lady's eyes open wider.
"See, I forgot them in my other pants."Labels: frightening thought, joke, random, stories |
posted by Steve @ 10:56 PM  |
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| Sunday, September 17, 2006 |
| If I Ran for President |
I literally had a dream last night that I had been nominated for President of the USA by the people that knew me. For no other reason but to make me feel better about my country, I'll probably write a few blogs about what I'd do in the interminable distance between now and January 20, 2009.
My main concerns are tax efficiency. medicare, military efficiency, educational inflation, good-will terror fighting, and Social Security. I'll tackle them in that order.
I also hope that now, with my life going the way I more-or-less like it, I can consistently update this blog and things like it (such as my car's blog), take care of my own finances, and have a consistent schedule.
 Currently listening :
12/Loup EP
By The NotwistLabels: Bush, insurance, military, poliics, school, Social Security |
| posted by Steve @ 9:04 PM |
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| Sunday, September 03, 2006 |
| Funny Thing Happened Today no. 12: This is my brain |
... and it is BROKEN.
I know that I'm a very straight guy. I was in technical theater at Brophy (College Prep), where all the fay, freaks, and anti-phobes went. I got about as socially comfortable as I ever was in high school amongst some thoroughly gay people.
But I never, ever want to see guys humping. And I got about seven pounds of brain-breaking when I saw "Another Gay Movie" with AZ and my wife.
Granted, there were some very memorable parts - a certain nudist millionaire makes a cameo - but there's a fair portion of what really comes down to softcore porn. More than I wanted to see.
See, I like girls because of the grace, the smoothness - a Ferrari or even a Bug racing with finesse and style. Hetero sex can be pretty wild but as long as those curves are involved it's OK -- but gay guy sex is more like semis in a demolition derby. It's just ugly. Otherwise we'd not have terms like 'santorum.'
I'd want to note that I am fine with gays in general (as in what I said in the first paragraph), but... ew.
 Currently listening:
Happy Hollow
By CursiveLabels: gays, movies |
| posted by Steve @ 2:14 AM |
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| About Me |
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Name: Steve
Home: Tucson, Arizona, United States
About Me:
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