Holes In Thoughts: Case for Isolationism

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Case for Isolationism

Selling billions of dollars of weapons to people that hate each other isn't the best way of going about bringing peace to any area.

But that's what the U.S. has been doing for years and years, including a new$20 Billion in weapons going to Saudi Arabia soon. The Daily Show said it much better than I can, and I'm so impressed that at the risk of losing the video somewhere -- I transcribed it. Here it is:

Transcript:

Obviously, the Iraq war is very complicated. It's another reason why Barack Obama's foreign policy inexperience is going to be an important issue in this campaign. You can't have a newbie
overthrowing the delicate balance that we've engineered and maintained in this complex region.

For instance a week in Iraq has meant a strengthened Iran; and since Iran is Shiia, our Sunni friends in Saudi Srabia are none too happy about that. But that's no problem in our experienced hands.

[America to the rescue graphic with G.W. Bush: "We will bring freedom to others -- and we will prevail."]

Yes, a few weeks ago, the White House announced plans to sell 20 billion dollars in weapons to the Saudi Royal Family.

Boom! Balance of power restored.

Trust me, you don't have to worry about billions of dollars in weapons being sent to a country like that, because may I remind you: a full 20% of the 9/11 highjackers were not from there.

Of course, this move may intimidate our curcumsised friends to the west [Israel]. They may be nervous because Saudi Arabia is considered somewhat friendly with Hamas. Although, I don't want to overstate the case. I mean uh, the Saudis like Hamas, but it's not like they've had telethons for them in the past, and it-- ah-- O.K.-- I'm being told they have actually held telethons for Hamas in the past, but that's not going to be any problem.

[America to the rescue graphic]

Because last week the white house announced that it will increase aid to Israel by 25%, meaning an additional 30 billion dollars over the next decade to them.

Oh billions of dollars, is there no dispute you can't settle?

You might ask, "how did we get so experienced at this?" Well we've been rescuing the Middle East for some time now. Think back to 1990, when a oil-rich, very nice little country named Kuwait was invaded by the very not-nice Iraq.

[America to the Rescue, "'90s version" with George Bush, Sr.: "We will help any government that wants our help."]

That's a 90's version of that graphic [laughs].

Of course, we stopped short of actually invading Iraq at that time; I think you remember the Secretary of Defense at the time [Dick Cheney] made a pretty strong case against it. Said it would be a quagmire. He was smart.

See, at that time we had to weaken Saddam Hussein, who had become very powerful after purchasing a s---load of weapons from-- oh boy.

[America to the rescue '90's graphic]

Oops! See that time we had to give him the weapons because then he was at war with Iran.

But see then, once Saddam got real powerful, we had to worry that he would topple our friends in Saudi Arabia. Which is why we put troops there, which kinda pissed off, uh, that guy [Osama bin Laden], who had also become very powerful fighting the Russians in Afghanistan after getting weapons from SONOFABITCH!!!

[America to the rescue "'80s style" with Reagan: "Reach out a hand when they fall"]

WHAT THE FUCK?!

My point is that foreign policy experience is very important! Because it helps you learn nation-building! Which is knowledge we can take -- to our country and apply to rebuilding our own infrastructure, like when our roads crumble. [Looks to the side for a prompt; apparently told this is a bad example]. Or when our bridges collapse [looks hopefully at his prompter and is told to try again]. Or when a hurricane wipes out one of our cities [same prompter says no way]. Midnight basketball?

[America to the Rescue graphic comes on but screws up and ends up with a beeping Indian test signal]

[pregnant pause]

Fuck.

Labels: idiots, politics, religion

posted by Steve @ 7:45 PM

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