I swear there's more homos per capita in the Republican Party than there are in the general public.
Actually, I put this question to a good friend of mine whose friends may be able to figure this out, which would be awesome.
Anyway, so this Senator Larry Craig spends his time in the Senate doing what he thinks is right for Idaho, including: voting to prohibit marriage between members of the same sex in federal law, voting to abolish a program that helps businesses owned by women or minorities compete for federally funded transportation, voting to prohibit job discrimination based on sexual orientation, voting to keep the definition of hate crimes to exclude gender, sexual orientation and disability, and supporting for amending the constitution to ban same-sex marriage.
We'll give ol' Larry points for consistency, at least, though the ACLU doesn't like him (he has a 25% 'civil rights rating').
Anyway, so a little while ago, an undercover cop is sitting on the john in an airport because apparently a lot of 'lewd behavior' was happening there. I don't like trying to go to the bathroom in an airport while two people are humping in the next stall, so I'm fine with that, my stances of pro-civil rights for gays be damned.
And the Esteemed Senator stares at the cop for a while through the crack in the door, making weird hand movements ('fidgeting' is the word that's used). After a few minutes of this (must've felt like hours to that cop), he gets into the next stall. He puts his rolling case at the door.
According to the cop, this is standard procedure as the case will keep people from seeing said lewdness: "My experience has shown that individuals engaging in lewd conduct use their bags to block the view from the front of their stall". I read that and think, "there is a procedure for getting man ass in a stall?"
Now, I understand the need for this kind of procedure. Proposition the wrong guy and he might just start attacking you. I just didn't know it was this well-established. I would also like to say, though, that if you're gay, don't pick up people like this. There's a basic, basic problem: you can't see much of them before you start making moves. Careless, borderline-anonymous sex is hardly unique to homosexual culture - I was a DJ in a bar, I saw it every night. I guess part of the appeal is that it's totally insane, but -- I'd expect better from a 62-year-old hard-right conservative Senator.
The Esteemed Senator (the cop had no idea who he was at this point) starts tapping his toes loudly. This is apparently a signal for engaging in said 'lewdness,' and I can back the cop up on this because I've used some public restrooms and I assure you that a men's room in the United States is quieter than a morgue (other than the inevitable sounds, and those are cause for extreme awkwardness). Talking, socializing, humming and anything but a grunt (which is also an inevitable sound) is just not acceptable.
So a dude in the next stall tapping like Fred Astaire is going to weird me and any other normal, heterosexual guy out. A lot. It's not normal.
After a while, apparently, the Senator edges his foot towards the cop. Again, if that's me in the stall, I'm going to snap off a piece of the grey wall next to me and hack off your foot with my new improvised axe of twisted steel. I'm not a homophobe, but nobody plays footsie while doing numero dos. I think most homosexual guys wouldn't enjoy trying to do their business while someone pokes their foot, either. But then again, I guess at this point, footsie (and #2) isn't what the Esteemed Senator wanted.
 Undaunted by the fact that this guy in the next stall hadn't ... um ... done whatever he wanted the cop to do ... (aarrgh not a happy mental image) ... he started flashing bling! Yeah, that giant gold ring might've distracted from your gnarled, wrinkled, spotted, 62-year-old old hands. Sexy.
I just looked up how old he was. He has my same birthday. Hooray. Seppuku time!
My favorite is how the arrest went down, though:
Karsnia then held his police identification down by the floor so that Craig could see it. “With my left hand near the floor, I pointed towards the exit. Craig responded, ‘No!’ I again pointed towards the exit. Craig exited the stall with his roller bags without flushing the toilet. ... Craig said he would not go. I told Craig that he was under arrest, he had to go, and that I didn’t want to make a scene. Craig then left the restroom.” After they're outside, in the interview (it's not clear in the article how much time had passed), the Senator shows him his Senatorial card and says, "What do you think about that?"
Senator, you are a big, fat bastard and a hypocrite. That's what I think.
Of course, the whole thing was hastily and badly explained as a he said/he said misunderstanding, but you know what? That's why I took the time to go through all the extremely creepy and thoroughly abnormal behavior that was outlined by the officer.
I just can't wait to get my friends' response about the Gay Old Party per-capita...
(b-day from Wiki,Labels: gays, idiots, poltics, rant, sex |
I'd just like to point out that "man ass" isn't really the appropriate term as they're really blowing like a hair dryer.