In response to a pretty hilarious post about her bank charging her over and over for overdrafts, some of the commenters chided her for simply not being careful with her money. Another commenter came in, cape unfurled and horns blazing, to her rescue:

Look, the banks intentionally do everything in their power to screw you out of money. That’s not hyperbole. They really do everything they can get away with to take your money without having to actually do anything.

They run debits before credits to make it harder to keep ahead of things. They run charges largest-to-smallest, to maximize the number of charges after you go into the negative. They do these things this way specifically to take your money. They make all the rules, and, in aggregate, they’ve been playing the game about a hundred thousand times as long as you have. Their only motivation is to take as much money from you as possible, as efficiently as possible, hopefully while blaming you for it.

Now, before you go all read-the-fine-print douchenozzle on me: YES. They are well within their legal rights to do whatever they can to try to screw everyone else out of all of their money without actually doing any work. Similarly, Lindy is well within her legal rights to say that they are fucking inhuman shitpiles for doing so.

And of course, you are well within your legal rights to say that she should just have a computer brain that can instantly cross-reference every event that occurs in her life with every word that has ever passed in front of her eyes, all while running a perfect tally of all her financial assets and obligations, updated in real-time, allowing for any sort of emergency situation with some kind of percentage safety margin as determined by an elaborate collection of actuarial data.

And I am perfectly within my legal rights to recurse down to this level, and call you a fucking asshole. You fucking asshole.

I recently got rid of my Bank of America bank accounts. I did a decent job keeping track of things, but honestly, when you’re poor (and I mean netting $600 per month poor), sometimes it’s just not possible to keep everything together. I paid Bank of America a ton of money for the privilege of holding my $150 average bank balance.

Now that I actually make decent money, I am happy to have gotten rid of them. They managed to screw me out of an extra $70 during the handover, but the fat mosquito is now off. I also don’t feel like I’m a part of the too-big-to-be-nice fail problem.

I now bank with Hughes Federal Credit Union, and so far they’ve been quite grand.